Poetry helps mother deal with loss

By Gracie Hart
Review Staff Writer

Published: December 4, 2008

“Lord, I am down on my knees.  I am calling on you Lord, help me, please.“  This is the end of the first poem in Shirley Atkins’ debut book, “Have You Ever.“  The poem, titled “A Mother’s Heartbreak” reflects the pain that Atkins felt about her eldest son, Johnell Lamont Greene, getting into trouble.  Greene was later murdered in the Town of Orange in August 2006 at the age of 25.  “Have You Ever” is a path to healing for Atkins and, she hopes, for others.
Atkins, who grew up in Orange County, is one of 22 children, a mother of three and grandmother of seven.  She credits her large family with providing the support she has needed during the tough times in her life.
“We’re so close and that helps when you’re going through something,“ she said.  “They provided the support that I really needed.“
That support became essential when Atkins lost her son to violence, something that she said has changed her as a person.
“I always believed in the Lord and tried to do good,“ she said.  “It has made me stronger than I ever believed I could be.“
Her strength, she said, has helped her discover new talents like writing.  Atkins wrote her first poem in 1997 when he father died on her birthday.
“I wrote it because I was questioning God and why he would choose to take my father home on that day,“ she said.
People liked that first poem and she began writing them whenever people close to her were going through hard times and sadness, she said.
“I found that I had a gift that I didn’t know I had,“ she said.
Atkins gave some of the poems as gifts and kept others, losing track of them over time.  With the death of her son, she decided to compile her poems, some old and some new, into a book to inspire others and to heal herself.
“I hope this book can help others to know that they can survive,“ she said.  “I wanted to take something bad and make something good out of it.  All of the poems are from the heart.“
Atkins credits God with the inspiration that allows her to keep writing.
“I had always felt that what I was going through and the pain was for a reason,“ she said.  “God wanted me to do this.“
The book, which features family pictures as well as the poems, is currently available from Atkins who is promoting it with sales in front of local retailers and also by word of mouth.  She plans to use the funds from her book sales to open the Johnell Lamont Greene Memorial Fund.  The fund will be used to help people in the community that are experiencing hardships.
“In this day and time we go through so much” she said.  “I want people to know that we can survive.  This book is a healing process.  Maybe something in this book can help someone and they can heal from it.“
Atkins said she is healing every day from the loss of her son but admits that with the holidays coming up, it’s hard.
“This keeps me from focusing on the bad,“ she said.  “I no longer feel any anger.“